How Putting Myself Last Held Me Back

For years, I operated in overdrive. I was always "on the go," never allowing myself to fully relax, constantly worrying about what could go wrong. I was a chronic overthinker, a worrier, and an expert in catastrophizing. My mind would run through worst-case scenarios like a never-ending movie reel, convincing me that if I didn’t control every little detail, everything would fall apart. I also felt this unease in my body too!

Growing up I was constantly reminded that I was a perfectionist. I had to make sure everything I did was not just good—but perfect, safe, and above and beyond what was expected. It wasn’t about excellence; it was about survival. I didn’t want to let anyone down. I wanted to be the person who could be relied upon, who always said "yes," who was always available. But in doing so, I was putting myself last and keeping myself in this cycle of overwhelm.

The Cost of People-Pleasing

At first, this approach was just the way I operated, it was my normal set point, the way I believed I would achieve success. I thought that by proving my worth through over-achieving and over-delivering, I would gain more respect, more security, and more fulfillment. But the reality was quite the opposite.

I was exhausted. Burnt out. Trapped in a cycle of constantly proving myself but never feeling satisfied. My business started to feel like a burden rather than a passion. The more I pushed, the more anxious I became. My inability to say "no" meant I took on too much. My need for perfection meant projects took longer than they should have. My constant worry kept me in a state of stress that affected my stress levels, my relationships, and my overall happiness.

The Shift That Changed Everything

It wasn’t until I truly recognized that my need to please others was coming at the expense of my own well-being that I started to make changes. I had to learn that:

• Saying "no" is not selfish; it’s necessary. Every time I said yes to something that drained me, I was unknowingly saying no to something that could truly nourish me. I was raised to believe in the importance of helping others whenever possible—a wonderful value, but one that can become harmful if you’re not aware of your own personal limits.
• Perfection is an illusion. I had to accept that my best effort was enough, and constantly striving for unattainable perfection was holding me back, and costing me money in my business.
• True rest and recovery is essential. I used to feel guilty for resting, believing that every moment needed to be productive. For me, rest meant listening to self-help books or educational podcasts—always learning, always improving. I never allowed myself to simply do "nothing" or even meditate because I didn’t see it as productive. But I’ve since realized that true relaxation and downtime are essential for creativity, problem-solving, and overall success.
• Trusting myself and the process is key. Instead of assuming the worst, I began to shift my mindset to one of possibility and faith in my own intuition. This took time to think in a different way, to retrain my mind and rewire the connections. When we are used to doing something the same way for years on end it takes time and repetition to change.

The Results? Freedom.

Once I started prioritizing myself, everything changed. My business began to flourish—not because I was doing more, but because I was doing what truly mattered. I attracted the right clients, created better boundaries, and finally felt a sense of ease that I had never allowed myself before. I stopped letting fear dictate my decisions and started trusting in my ability to handle whatever came my way.

Now, I teach others how to break free from the same patterns that held me back. If you’re feeling stuck in the cycle of people-pleasing, perfectionism, and stress, know this: You don’t have to stay there. You have the power to shift, to prioritize yourself, and to create success on your own terms.

If this resonates with you and you’re ready to step into a life of ease, confidence, and true fulfillment, let’s connect.

Your transformation starts with one decision—to put yourself first.